i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
