She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
