i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
