Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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