You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize