there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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