Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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