My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize