UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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