just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
