awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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