you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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