Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
