They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
