My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
