you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
