This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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