Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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