i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
