C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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