my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
