and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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