you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
