they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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