Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
