i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
