Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize