I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
