I just pynch a tree in the face
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
