I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
