i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
