Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
