In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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