You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
