New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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