Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
