i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
All I want is dick and wine.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
