Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
