Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
