In the future we'll all be gay
Your tits are I can't wait for
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize