Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
