Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
