i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i want to swaddle you in tequila
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
