I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
