how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The air was thick with penises
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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