Your tits are I can't wait for
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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