: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
