All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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