I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
