Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
