we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
