He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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