What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
