what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
