You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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