is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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