Your mouth is God's brothel.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
