ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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