This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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