Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize