miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
