How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
