So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
