Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize