if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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