Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Rumble strips road head = magical
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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